I have held back no water in its season

Branch: *stares, goggle-eyed* What are you doing here?!

Relena: *drops her luggage and puts her hands on her hips* You put on my song. What did you expect? Now, if you don’t mind please, I’d like some fic.

Branch: O_O

Relena: I’m sick of the whole Princess gig; and I’m sick of carrying nearly all the feminine roles in this damn show. I want to be a pilot.

Branch: *cautiously* Well, I’m with you there…

Relena: *relentlessly* So we’ll do an AU. I want Treize to know who I am and decide he wants both Peacecrafts.

Zechs: *chokes*

Relena: *rolls her eyes* Not that way, Onii-sama, honestly. *sniffs* Perhaps he can decide you’re too depressed to be of political use and train me up for that instead.

Branch: *a bit weakly* That’s not a fic, that’s an arc. That’s an epic!

Relena: *calmly* Your point?

Branch: I don’t have that much Pat Benatar!

Relana: I’m sure we can work around that.

Treize: *crosses his legs, covering a smile* This should be… interesting.

*stares at the new arc*

Four freaking stories in one day. Four. Man, it’s true, Mizuki does always get his way.

Also, why am I calling on Shakespeare for titles, here? “Palm to Palm”, good lord. Not only will no one get it, but…

Yuuta: *red in the face* Are you suggesting I am a girl?!

No, dear, I think you may be the saint.

Mizuki: *appalled* Are you suggesting I am as naive as that poor, idiot boy, Romeo?

*holds head* Both of you just shut up and give me your lines!

Branch: *running frantically to keep ahead of great, galloping plotbunnies* Help!

Shuuei: *abstracted look* Mm.

Branch: *dives under a couch and waits for them to go by* *creeps out and looks suspiciously at Shuuei* Why are you looking like that?

Shuuei: Oh. Nothing.

Branch: *still more suspiciously* Why are you looking at Seien like that? *eyes widen* Oh. Oh no. Oh, you’re not.

Shuuei: *eyes following Seien* Not what?

Branch: We talked about this! It would be bad! For pity’s sake, you’re his cat-toy in canon, and he’s damn edgy around you in the AU! You have no idea what he would do with you in bed!

Shuuei: Well yes, that’s rather the point.

Branch: *dire pause* You really have been talking to Roy, haven’t you? Okay, look, if you behave yourself in the AU, I’ll give you an AU to the AU where you actually get to get laid by Seien. Deal?

Shuuei: *long sigh* Oh, very well. I suppose that will have to do.

Branch: *long suffering* Remind me again why I like writing difficult bastards like you? And go do something about Kouyuu. *mutters* Who’d have thought he’d be territorial…?

Branch: *frowns at sib-smut bunny* So come on already! Give me the ending; afterglow can’t be that hard.

*bunny scuttles away coyly*

Seiran: I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience, but I’m busy reverting from Aniue to normal. It takes time.

Ryuuki: *pouts*

Seiran: You used that on me once already in this story.

Branch: *growls*

*Shuuei-bunny waggles ears*

Shuuei: *brightly* Well, there, you see, you can spend time on my wonderfulness while you’re waiting.

Branch: *suspicious* Have you been hanging out with Roy or something?

Shuuei: *smiiiiles*

Branch: Right. Why don’t I pay attention to you, then.

Seiran: *gets a tiny glint in his eye*

Shuuei: …

Roy: *leans in the door to whisper* Tactical error, there.

You know, I’d forgotten how heart-twisting it is to write Al. Poor little guy.

Al: *looking around Musespace, a bit bewildered* So. Er. The other people here say there’s usually compensation…?

Branch: For angst? Oh, yeah. And it’ll only last for another three years or so.

Al: Oh, well goo… *turns around slowly to look at the Author* *dead level* What?

Branch: *waves hands reassuringly* No, no, don’t worry! We’ll skip over most of that in just a story or two and get you straight to the desert, where you’ll have someone to comfort you and all that good stuff.

Al: *glares for a moment more before snorting* Right. *looks around* So, where’s Nii-san?

Ed: *in a raised voice from the library* …be ridiculous! “Angels flying backward”, that’s obviously alchemical code!

Atobe: *also from the library* I’m telling you, you’ve got the wrong timestream in mind.

Al: Ah. Never mind.

Branch: Zack, sweetie? I love you to death, but you’re a freak.

Zack: Am I? *sounds completely unconcerned*

Branch: How do you go from tear-jerking angst one minute to total squishy silliness the next?

Zack: *reasonably* Well, one moment was direly depressing–it kind of had to be to account for Cloudy-boy having his head up his ass by the time of AC–and the other was my girlfriend-to-be wangling a first date out of poor, unsuspecting, innocent…

Entire cast of Muses: *burst out howling with laughter*

Zack: *raising his voice to be heard* … little me.

Branch: *contemplates her muse* Ed? Cloud?

Ed and Cloud: *exchange considering look*

Ed: Keep them apart?

Branch: *firmly* Very very far apart.

Cloud: On it.

Cloud: *crosses arms* I am not going to fall into Sephiroth’s arms at that point.

Branch: *wheedling* But he’s offering you a sure identity. And success! You know it’s mental orgasm time.

Cloud: That’s all well and good, but I still hate his guts, at this point.

Branch: Only half of you.

Cloud: *lifts brow* That’s in some debate. Besides, do you really want to write that kind of fic?

Branch: … You’re way too logical.

Cloud: *faint smile*

Branch: Fine, fine. We’ll leave that part for later.

Sephiroth: *narrows eyes* And just what motivation do I have to seduce my own puppet?

Branch: Gngh! You will! You know you will!

Sephiroth: *with annoying calm* Yes, but why?

Branch: *glares* For fun, damn it.

Cloud and Sephiroth: *look at each other and shrug* Okay.

Branch: *muttering* You two just like to be difficult.

Hmm.

It doesn’t feel like the mad rush of writing that catapulted me into FMA. And, really, it isn’t. I mean, Circumstances was just insane.

But this is still six parts in five days, plus some time-consuming research.

At this rate, we might actually get around to virgin!Roy.

*evil, evil smile*

Ed: *does a victory dance in the background, and falls down laughing hysterically*

Roy: *jaundiced* Not like it’s going to you.

Ed: *huge grin* That bunny was never mine. It’ll be worth it anyway. *smirks* Explains a lot about you and women, too.

Lisa: Doesn’t it? *smug glint in her eyes*

Downloading FMA amvs. I’m going to totally regret this, aren’t I?

As if Lisa wasn’t giving me enough angst right now.

Hawkeye: I am not angsting!

Branch: Yes you are.

Hawkeye: I am not. I have my head up my ass. It’s entirely different.

Branch: … I don’t think I’ve ever had a muse quite as honest as you. It’s refreshing.

Hawkeye: Fine. Now get Gracia over here, so she can talk some sense into me before I throw myself in the river or anything stupid like that.

Branch: Yes Ma’am.

Hawkeye: *eminently smug*

Roy: *very quietly* How did this happen…?

Branch: *reasonably* We have to work it around to those disgustingly sappy expression in the very last shot somehow. And you know, Lisa, you aren’t going to like it if I keep going.

Hawkeye: *firmly* I’ll like it better than my last job.

Branch: … okay, you have a point, there. *frowns* Roy, how did you wind up as my most domestic muse?

Roy: *mystified* I really don’t know.

Yanagi: *completely covered in dish soap* … whose idea was this?

Branch: ’s a metaphor.

Yanagi: *with awful politeness* For what, if one might ask?

Branch: *squints* Have you been hanging out with Hatter lately? Never mind. It’s a metaphor of how damn slippery you are, as a muse, right now.

Yanagi: *spits out a tiny soap bubble with a grimace* And if I stop being so elusive, can I wash this off?

Branch; *perks up* Sure, that’d work!

Yanagi: *narrow, suspicious look* Well. I’ll see what can be done, then.

Branch: *beams* Okay!

Branch: AAAAAAAHH!! Haru-chan, you’re an utter, utter bastard! Why do I have to write seven more of these Twenty Things things?

Niou: *matter of fact* Because you want to stick it to your detractors. With tines on it.

Branch: … Oh. Right. *looks over at the L couch, taken over by Tezuka and Atobe* Guys? I need to borrow a pole so I can go fish for inspiration.

Niou: *evil glint in his eyes*

Branch: *wearily* So why is it, Akaya, that every time I try to pair you with someone besides Sanada we get bogged down in the middle like this?

Niou: *straight faced* Because Sanada is his one true love?

Kirihara: *howls* Niou-senpai!! *grabs a pillow to thwack Niou with*

Yanagi: *calm and helpful* Because your style is in flux again.

Branch: *grateful look* You make so much sense, Ren-chan. *chews on pen, ignoring the increasing radius of the pillow fight in the background* So this new series really is all in one ‘verse, isn’t it?

Yanagi: *looking over her shoulder* It does seem to be. You should name it. Weren’t you thinking about dragons earlier?

Branch: Ack! *pounced by a plot-bunny* *glares at it* You’re supposed to be in the bunny corral.

*bunny wriggles nose at her winsomely*

Branch: *muttering* Yeah, yeah, fine. Ok, Swallow The Moon it is. You do know no one is going to get this reference?

Yukimura: *sparkling smile* Well, not unless you convey it in the story.

Branch: Oh, yeah, ask for the hard one…

Tezuka: *moves to a further couch which, just coincidentally, is next to Atobe’s* *murmurs* Told you it would be less than two weeks.

Atobe: Oh, fine. *fishes out a few bills* Here.

Tezuka: *very faint smile*

Branch: *musses hair* All right, people, I need a little propinquity, here. You two really don’t have any hobbies in common. So how can I get you in the same place for long enough to engage Kirihara’s interest?

Roy: Well, if you just need to hitch them in proximity for a bit, there’s always soulb-

Branch and Kirihara: DON’T SAY IT!

Roy: *innocent look*

Atobe: *clutching a couch pillow to his stomach, laughing*

Tezuka: *very, very evenly* Both schools have class trips in October. Surely it could be arranged then?

Branch: Hmmm. That’s a possibility. Particularly if you get in a conversation about cultural sites, which would show Kiri-chan’s other side. That would account for some curiosity from Tezuka, possibly enough for tolerance. What do you think, Akaya, would that do it for you?

Kirihara: *thoughtful* Possibly. Especially if it starts out as ‘figure out the rival’ and segues from there into ‘interesting person’.

Branch: Good.

Roy: I still think…

Branch and Kirihara: YOU SHUT UP!

Branch: *eyes Bleach-muses* When are you guys going to let me get to the end of this arc, anyway?

Rukia: You can end it with the engagement, for all of me.

Renji: *mutters* Before the engagement, even.

Byakuya: *fishy look at him*

Kyouraku: Where’s the fun in that? Politics! Go for the politics!

Branch: *hand over eyes* I knew you were going to chime in. Ok, look. When Rukia figures it out and decides whether to agree or not, how about that?

Kyouraku: *perfectly confident* That will be lovely.

Branch: Will it? *darkly* And how did I get a you-muse, anyway?

Kyouraku: *smug* Because Becky loves me and recs stories that plant ideas.

Branch: *growls* Just don’t think I’m writing you smut.

Kyouraku: *leans an elbow on the shoulder of a faintly flushing Ukitake* Wouldn’t dream of it. *toothy smile*

Branch: *scowls and goes to kick at the plot some more*

Branch: *stares at Byakyua, dumfounded* That’s your idea of how to fix the problem?!

Byakuya: *serene* She is my sister and I am the head of the House. It is traditional.

Branch: *jaw hangs open, totally flummoxed*

Renji: *equally flummoxed* *looks at author* Does he secretly hate me or something?

Branch: I… don’t think so. I think he actually expects this to work. *increasingly thoughtful* If he doesn’t step on himself too badly it just might.

Renji: *with conviction* You’re both crazy.

Rukia: *wandering in* So, what’s up this time?

Branch and Renji: Nothing!

Byakuya: *imperious* Come here, Rukia. There’s something I need to tell you.

Branch: *quietly* ohshit. *grabs for keyboard and holds on for dear life*

Branch: *points a stunned finger* What are you doing here?

Renji: *sprawled on a couch in all his pink-flowered off-duty glory* What? I came with him. *jerks thumb at Byakuya, standing all aloof at a window* Same as usual.

Branch: Well… yes, but… why?

Renji: *scratches chin, thoughtfully* From the sound of the gossip around here, because you have a Thing about captain-subordinate relationships.

Ed: *goes promptly up in flames* Who are you calling a subordinate?!

Roy: *smirks*

Renji: *toothy grin* Fun toys around here, too.

Ed: *death glare* That does it… *flexes fingers*

Renji: Oh, yeah? *reaches for Zabimaru*

Anna: *looks around from television* *deadly tone* No magic in the living room.

Renji and Ed: *freeze*

Byakuya: *approving look*

Anna: *considering look at Rukia* Do you play poker?

Rukia: *wide eyes* I’ve heard of it before. I could try to learn it, I suppose. *practically batting eyelashes*

Hawkeye: *dry* She’ll fit right in.

Branch: *muttering* I really wasn’t going to do this. *pokes at Bleach-bunny*

Branch: Fudge.

Muses: *all stop what they’re doing*

Atobe: *rather bemused* Madam?

Branch: I can’t make the timing quite work out. Or, rather I could, but… I guess it makes sense to do the action over summer and the emotion over winter, but…

Atobe: *cautiously* And this is vexing enough to drive you to use an expletive substitute?

Branch: *chews on pen* Nnnn.

Na-chan: So… this isn’t our timeline, right?

Branch: Nah, it’s Third Watch.

Kirihara: Oh, great! *stops to think* *in a very different tone* Oh great.

Branch: *sighs* All right, I think it will work. It’ll just be a case of two great houses, alike in pigheaded stubbornness…

Fudoumine and Rikkai: Hey!

Kirihara: *sprawled over a couch very like a bored teenager* So when are we getting back to me?

Branch: … Sometime.

Atobe: *snorts, and crosses ankles, elegantly, on the arm of his couch* Join the club, kid. It takes her forever to come back around when she has a new toy.

Kirihara: *anxious* But she does, eventually, doesn’t she?

Atobe: *flicks one of Uriel’s feathers through his fingers* Eventually.

Belial: *rearranges cards* One doesn’t see what you’re complaining about; at least she gave you a nice lot of stories before getting distracted. *to D* Raise.

Branch: *pulls pillow over head*

Roy: Just what do you call Tennis Sanctuary, Hatter? *discards* You’re all spoiled, is what. She has yet to come through on her after-canon ideas for me. *nudges Yoh to pay attention for his turn*

Branch: *lifts corner of pillow to glare* You want the stories to come out in script-form?

Yukimura: *smooths Author’s hair* There, now, Madam, it’s just talk. You know that.

Nadeshiko: *sits down by Anna* So, tell me about this place.

All Of Storyspace: AAAAAAAA!

Branch: “This way…” This way you’ll someday find the one you really love?

Ludwig: *shifty look*

Branch: Who, I’m thinking, is Orphe. ‘Cause, you know, Naoji you’ve got already.

Ludwig: *elevates brow* Of course. About Naoji, that is.

Branch: Mhm. And, because you are utterly incapable of stating this yourself, Orphe is going to have to figure it out and make the first move, right?

Ludwig: *carefuly does not look at Orpherus*

Branch: You do realize the difficulty with this plan, right? I mean, Orphe?

Orpherus: How much have you had to drink, Madam? That cold fish can’t possibly want any such thing, he rejects the least gesture of kindness as if it were a dead toad.

Branch: I rest my case. *sighs* Besides, you know I can’t really write anything but porn until I get the rest of the eps in translation.

Camus: *brightly* That’s quite all right.

Branch: …I see. Well, I suppose you are the easiest to work with.

Camus: *helpful look* Oh, yes.

Branch: Lui, sweetie? I think you underestimated your little cousin, here…